Why write?

Privilege, agency and finding my voice

Where to start? I won’t bore you with the very beginning, even if it might be a very good place to start. I don’t know why you’re reading this… as my sister regularly reminds me, I’m neither a mind reader nor does my undergraduate psychology degree qualify me to do much at all. What I can do is explain my purpose in writing this blog. So, let me introduce myself to you…

I’m a white cisgender man and I grew up in a middle-class family in a major Australian city. My parents were married before I was born, and although mum had been previously married (I have an older half-sibling), I grew up and continue to live in what is the quintessential nuclear family: my parents are still together, they have two kids together, a dog and own their house. Both my parents have post-graduate qualifications. I graduated high school with results in the top 1% of the state and received scholarships from the state and Federal Governments, and my preferred university. My sister and I both have multiple undergraduate degrees, an honours degree each, I have a graduate diploma and we’re both currently undertaking master’s degrees. I’m also a manager working in the public service.

As you can see, I’m about as privileged as Australians come. If ‘playing’ the Privilege Walk, I’d probably be one of the first to the finish line.¹ It’s important to me that you know, from the outset, I recognise I am very privileged.

What can’t be seen without scratching the surface (metaphorically, of course, because ouch!), is that I am in a minority group whose existence was effectively criminalised in Australia until the 1990s (and still is in some countries)–I am gay. I grew up in a low socio-economic area and despite not being born into poverty myself, my mother and her siblings were. I went to state schools. I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. When I was three, my younger brother died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome at just 12 days old. My mum gave birth to her first child (my older half-sibling) when she was just 17. My maternal grandparents gave up their first-born child for adoption as they were unwed, and my grandfather’s first wife refused him a divorce–a fact only recently discovered through genealogical DNA testing. I live with depression each and every day. I have overcome suicidal thoughts and accept that I may have to fight such ideation again in the future.

My life has included significant trauma, and has been impacted (unknowingly in most cases) by serious inter-generational trauma. Please do not pity me, and definitely do not congratulate me for ‘surviving’ or ‘coping’ or ‘achieving so much despite the challenges’. Yes, in the transactional game of achievement that we often play, I have a few extra runs on the board. That is not the point.

John Howard would have called me an ‘aspirational Australian’. Our current Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, would congratulate me for ‘having a go’ so that I could ‘get a go’. While it’s true that I have worked hard to get where I am today, these perspectives again entirely miss the point.

The fact is, I am lucky. I was born with significant privilege. I survived, and indeed have thrived, in life despite the challenges I have faced along the way. It wasn’t just because I ‘had a go’. As a middle-class white cisgender Australian man, I faced fewer hurdles to overcome the trauma in my life. Moreover, it has been easier for me to access support and opportunities.

What is implied by those previous sentences is … ‘compared to other people’. Unlike those politicians, I recognise that I was born into a world where other people do not have access to the same support and opportunities that have allowed me to thrive and succeed because of some characteristic which means they do not have the benefit of being as privileged as me. That list of characteristics, which one cannot change, is almost infinite; it includes people of colour, immigrants, trans or gender diverse people, neurodiverse people, people living with disabilities, people from working class backgrounds or living below the poverty line, women, people from non-typical families including divorced or same-sex parents, people living in rural and remote communities, and First Nations peoples.

The fact is, Australians are not all equal (although they certainly should be):

• we might have formal equality–everyone technically has the same legal rights and access the same opportunities,
• but we certainly do not have substantive equality–in reality, the outcomes of Australians are by and large limited based on the privilege into which they are born.

That is why I am writing this blog. My privilege grants me the agency to use my voice and speak out where others cannot. I will not allow apathy to overcome my passion; I want Australia to become a better country. I hope that by speaking out, I can encourage others to join me in pushing for change. Together we can make a difference.

¹ Privilege Walk is a diversity and inclusion exercise inspired by Dr Peggy McIntosh’s seminal 1989 article ‘White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack’. Dr McIntosh founded the National SEED Project to drive personal, institutional, and societal change toward social justice, particularly in educational settings by improving diversity and inclusion. You can read more about the Privilege Walk exercise on the Australian HR Institute’s website.